I'm seriously considering a lobotomy, yes I am.

Has it really been 13 days? Jesus. Well, no fear, my friends, I have things to report. Well, on the comic front, the Braintrust project that I've been working on is kind of shaky, but I'm not really sure. I do have an idea I definitely plan on pursuing, which is under the working title ANTEBELLUM. It'll be a lot of fun. There are chainsaw-rollerskates.

Oh, but you're probably wondering what the headline means. Well, thanks to the astounding skills that Warren Ellis has for rooting around the Interwebs, I have for the last month or so been obsessed with the music of German singer-cum-rapper Peter Fox, formerly of truly gag-worthy ska-reggae-swing band Seeed. I have so far listened to the single "Alles Neu" approximately 100,000 times, so many in fact that I can now rap the entire thing IN GERMAN, much to the amusement of my friends. Hence, I am currently trying to raise money to have my brain removed, or at the very least having a significant portion of my cranial fluid drained and... I don't know, given to underprivileged Icthyo sapiens or something.

And to round out this UBER-post after a couple very turbulent weeks, I have a review of Keanu Reeves' new movie and faceless legionnaire in the army of shitty remakes that have been coming out for the past 3 years, The Day The Earth Stood Still. Now, if you've seen the original film... the remake is nothing like that. There are elements of the original film IN the remake; GORT is back and badder than ever, Klaatu makes a return, and he is ostensibly there to save the earth from humanity. The similarities more or less stop there, though.

TDTESS is possibly the most soulless movie I've ever seen, and never have I been so bored at the fate of humanity than I was sitting in the theater. This could be the fault of the writers, the fault of the producers for insisting on unnecessarily revamping an originally excellent film, or the impossibly wooden Keanu Reeves. Oh, you thought he was bad in the Matrix? For a classically trained actor, he sure has a problem emoting effectively, and when I say "effectively," I mean "at all." TDTESS is also a great example of how talented Jennifer Connelly is, yet how much trouble she has picking good projects. Even the super-talented Jon Hamm is featured in the movie, and is not allowed to ACT. His role extends to nothing more than spouting a couple of poorly-written lines, looking worried a couple times, and pressing a button. That's right, Jon Hamm has been reduced to a f***ing space-monkey.

The Day The... oh screw it, I hated this movie so much I don't even have the interest to finish the title. Save yourself the price of admission and use the $8 to buy some headache medication, or a pillowcase, or a couple boxes of condoms. In other words, USEFUL THINGS. Peace, people.